Show Me the Money!

I did a guest set at a club in town a few years ago. As the show continued and I stood in back by the bar, a woman from the audience came up to me and said "hey, I didn't get my drink order." I smiled and said, "I don't work here." She got mad and said, "Yes you do! I just saw you on stage!"

"What?" I asked.

"You work here and I want my drinks!"

"OK, did a comic take your order, seat you at your table or bring your food to you?"

"No." She said.

If it weren't for the manager coming over who knows where this would of gone.

Frankly, I will take that level of disrespect over waiting on a check for a gig. Oh well.

I walked away from a gig last month because two people were there for the show. Not only did I not get paid for the gig or even get gas money for the two hour round trip drive, but the couple, whose date night we ruined by not performing, went on Yelp to complain about my lack of professionalism. They were there. They could of come up to me, the booker, the other comic, the bar manager or owner and asked what was happening, but instead, because its the age of communication we live in, they decided to bitch about their night being ruined on line. Beautiful. Im not sure exactly how good or bad the show would of been with two people sitting as far away from the 'stage' as possible but after 20 years in comedy Im not going to dance for two people for two hundred dollars and pretend that its fun. Im worth more and honestly, those two people deserved more, too. 

I did a private holiday party for a small company in Sacramento. Before I went on the guy who hired me said, "do you mind if I post date the check two weeks out?"

My reply, "Ah, no. Not if you don't mind if I only do the set-ups to the jokes and come back in two weeks to deliver the punch lines?"

I got a check dated for that day.

All in a days work for a stand-up.