I imagine, someday in the far future, an alien ship landing on Earth to survey the ruins. They might wonder why this happened or why other creatures might do this to each other but they won't wonder how it was done as one of them steps on an unexploded land mine.
Einstein, married his cousin.
Why is the expiration date on a bottle of vodka shorter than the expiration date on a bottle of water? Why does water have an expiration date on it? Did I just drink a lake before it went bad?
Yes baby, I'm totally fine that Jesus is your personal lord & savior. Just remember, I can't walk on water but like him, I can drink wine.
I saw a car in front of me with a pro-libertarian message. He was stopped at a red light. I pulled up next to him and yelled out my window "Hypocrite!"
Americans new found love of all things bacon is really just secret hatred for Muslims. You know that, right? I'm no fan of any religion but if Americans have proved anything in the modern world, its that you can't have hatred in your heart and high cholesterol. Bacon is killing more Americans every year than terrorists but one is the enemy and one is our right to have!
Walking around with a loaded gun to show your support for the Second Amendment is like yelling Fire, in a crowded theatre to show your support for the First Amendment.
Some military bases do not have to follow any environmental protection laws. Thats why traces of rocket fuel can still be found in the breast milk of of mothers in America. Doesn't every god loving patriot want a third arm to hold a flag? Your damn right they do! and if its a flipper…you join the Navy, son!
If humans ever do manage to create actual artificial intelligence, I think the first thing it would do would be to sit us down and just like your parents eventually had to explain that Santa and the easter bunny weren't real, god isn't real either.
I believe alien beings created crop circles. Not as a way to communicate with us but as warning signs to other galactic travelers. What do I mean? I think aliens aboard a UFO see a crop circle and feel pretty much the same way I feel driving my car on the highway and I see a road sign for Fresno.
Dude, what you order at the drive-thru window tonight is you gonna kill you faster than any terrorist might!
No comments:
Post a Comment